How do you deal with bad raiding environment.

Far too often for my own liking I am driving to rant out of game about the state of my raiding in the game. I raid as often as a I like, so the ability it certainly there. No, it really is the environment in which I raid. I came to my current group in BC as my hunter and still raid with them now as Zhavi. In that time we’ve seen some leadership change up and since Uld a major shift in the behavior of our raids. Looking back, certainly I am at fault in this as well. All too willing to bend until I break. Like Tuesday when having had enough I snapped in raid chat, healer chat, and then in my guild vent after the raid.

There is no excuse for letting a situation go this long. But ever there is a straw that breaks the camel’s back and Tuesday was it. Over the course of Uld and now ToC my raid group has gotten increasingly more hostile to eachother. It doesn’t matter if you are a tank, healer, or DPS we are going to yell at you. As I stated before we didn’t start out that way but really since Uld we have become that way. It isn’t always the leadership 9/10 it will be another member of the raid coming over vent to tell you how stupid you are for not doing X, Y, or Z.  No latitude for lag, disconnection, or anything else. No look at past performance to wonder why someone missed the charging yeti previously but caught this time. No, instead you will hear screaming over vent as at least 2 people, not the raid leads, rip into whoever did it.

Tuesday we raided VoA, ToC, and Ony. For VoA I ignored everything. I’ve been off almost 2 weeks from raiding because I knew this was grinding me down, I was tired of dealing with this crap. But a plea the night before that without healers the raid would be canceled saw myself signing up for a raid I knew I shouldn’t be in. Nothing confirmed this more when we wiped on Ony and my temper exploded. A tank invited me to a fight and I not only accepted, I backed up my argument and let it be known it was time to stop.

See our tank was given the wrong directions for Ony’s breath. As she flew over, not only was he out of range of us, he was in the middle of the fire. (The Shammy healer and I assigned to him not willing to stand in the fire to be close enough to heal him…go figure) A battle rez commences and the tank is back in the fray. However, the delicate tanking balance has changed. There are now 3 large dragonkin and the whelps. He has charged into the middle of them all to grab aggro. (See where this is going yet?) He has their aggro and only 2 healers, he hasn’t been fully buffed because on being rezzed he immediately charged back in. He died. Over vent I hear him telling the raid how he didn’t get any heals and that’s why he died and it is our fault. (that snapping sound you here is the last of my nerves after months of dealing with this coupled with the crappy way we have been treating each other)

I snap back that he was being healed and if he doesn’t know what happened not to say anything at all. All this is  said in raid chat as I don’t have my mic ( I ran it over and the hub spent time fixing it…don’t look at me like that I run over it all the time) Snapping in healer chat I tell the lead there and everyone else I’m done and tired of dealing with this BS. Because I really really am. I’m not the only healer to lose it in fact. Which tells me for sure I’m not the only healer tired of listening to this night after night. It isn’t that the tank talked out of his butt when I know I cast heals on him and saw two ticks of penance hit him before he died. No, I was tired of being in a raid environment where yelling at each other was accepted and condoned.

After the successful death of Ony and the raid was over my adrenaline and anger was amped up enough I walked over into my guild chat to talk to some other friends. Tank and the raid leader come in and I let it go. I really really am tired. Another healer in the chat stated “healers get blamed first every where whats the point?”

But do you? I know for a fact that until we started having problems with Hodir and Thorim the healers didn’t get yelled at this much. I know for a fact people didn’t come over vent and yell at each other. It wasn ‘t allowed it wasn’t accepted. So I put it to them Why are treating each other like crap now when we used to not? When I used to be glad to get on and raid with my friends instead of hate listening to the bickering and bitching all the time.

I say I am to blame because Tues never should’ve happened. I should have gone to my RL and explained what a sheer crappy experience raiding here has become and asked what is going on. I know he has a lot on his plate.

I put it to you in general. Is it acceptable to scream, yell, and treat people like crap? How do you handle it when your raids are ground down or demoralized?

Published in: on October 29, 2009 at 7:18 pm  Comments (6)  
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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I don’t normally read blogs but yours has struck a cord with me. It’s how I’ve been feeling for awhile. I raided casually in BC after a bad hardcore experience. It’s gotten stressful and not fun for awhile. I’ve thought of leaving, the idea of leaving friends is hard. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to log on. Even on alts. After the bad experience in BC I said I’d never go back to being screamed at. I think the sniping, bickering, is as bad. We’ve had players start pulling bosses, trash before people are ready and get amusement in killing people. Each wipe/senseless death seems to wear me out more.

    • I think that is the worst of it. The wearing and grinding out of my nerves. I hate that I look back at my blog and can recognize just how frustrated and for how long I have been with it.

      You are right there is that tug and pull of friends made and especially as a healer feeling like if you aren’t there you are letting them down.

  2. It often depends largely on the people within it. Some people can handle that type of strong critiscm and others can’t. I’m lucky that I’m the GM of the guild and have a lot better grasp on when it really is a healing fault and when it isn’t. It’s also handy to have empirical data and death logs to back up the statement. If its a healing fault, I have no problem coming out and saying it and letting my guys know. If it was another cause of death, I’ll link that too.

    A lot of accusatory healing failures can easily be attributed to something else. It’s unfortunate that people tend to apply the principle of Occam’s Razor too readily (when given competing theories, the simplest one is usually correct, IE not enough heals).

    It’s up to the leadership to change that environment. If non leaders are disciplining other players, its up to your leaders to firmly remind them that its not their place as I do with mine. I tell my guys to hold off until after the raid and check the forums for individual feedback. I do a post-raid analysis after every raiding night where I go over what I liked, what I didn’t like, and who did well and who didn’t. It works well because people have time to calm down after a particular turbulent experience.

  3. Heya hon…your good friend Dest here,

    Well, you know I been on the healing circuit since MC. I have these moments too. I gotta tell ya, its not just the environment. Sometimes its you.

    Now I know that the temper flare moments happen. Some people blow up bigger than others. Some repress it too much. Some repress it too little. Make no mistake though…we ALL have them. Forget about raiding. Forget about games. It happens to us at work, at home, at parties, and so on.

    Heres my reccomendation…simply let everyone know how you feel and lay back off healing for a bit. Do something else for a while. That mean old temper will die down on its own. Maybee the raid crew will see what is happeneing, maybee they won’. But you can handle and did handle them for a while. You can do it again. If you find after that they are still too much to handle…there are other raid crews dear. I have changed on a few occsions.

    Now as to one last thing… Healing (and tanking as well) are jobs in a raid that put the fire under the pan. We take more crap and are responsible for more crap and being “spot on” at all times. It is the nature of our beast. You know as well as I (as you have your raiding hunter too) that DPS is a lot easier on the responsibility ladder. Remember that YOU re the one who has chosen to step up and ACCEPT that responsibility. Take a break. Do some DPS. Let the field fall sallow for a while. COme back and see where you stand after that.

    and a quick note in regard to comments about raid leaderships responsibility. To some degree it is their resposnsibility to try to move things in the right direction, but this is a VERY limited amount. Ultimately its each individual who has to step up…not the raid leadership. Leadership makes suggestions and gives focus, each individual chooses to follow those suggestions or remain as they are. It has to be all the raid membership that ultimately makes any choice or change.

    As always, I love ya hon!

  4. I know how you feel because I’m in a similar situation at the moment. I also feel like you might be coming to the same conclusion I am – its time to stop 25 man raiding. Not because you don’t want to raid, but because you don’t want to raid with those people.

    I am thinking about asking my GM if I can run a 10 man group a few nights a week. Some of those nights might be raid nights, depending who is interested. It gives me my raid fix without me having to deal with the people I genuinely have come to hate in the guild for their constant whining and demanding and selfishness. It would also give that chance to other people who I know are as disillusioned as I am.

    I hope you can find a solution to this that will work for you. I don’t think that stopping healing will work if this is a pervasive culture. I DPS and I get upset when the healers and tanks get attacked by people. These people are my friends, I have confidence in their abilities, so seeing people whine at them is upsetting to me too. If you do let me know what it is!

  5. This weekend I took the time to raid some 10mans with friends and it was a lot of fun and gave me that moment of “ahhhhhh” ok this is good.

    So Sun I decided to step back from raiding. My tank the same tank that got me to blow a gasket pointed out that he agreed the environment was out of hand and if I want it to change I need to do something about it. So I will likely write a letter to the leadership and ask them about it.

    But this week a new obsession has taken over…Dragon Age

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